I comprehend of a spot. It’s now not very monstrous. It’s within the middle, in advance of you get to the center of hearts. There’s a bit antechamber there the place unsavory intentions assemble and linger and linger—for regardless of how tough they need and check out to, they can not input the guts of hearts, I’m beautiful convinced of that; a minimum of the various time.
This is the little padded room from the place, they say—I learn this someplace no longer see you later ago—where they are saying that if techniques may well kill, we might de-people (if now not de-life fullyyt) our planet in a question of months.
This is additionally where the place I frequently live nowadays. I name it my grizzly position, occasionally I name it my frightening position, or my darkness. this can be from the place i can't support myself. yet without delay it's not that i am there, instantly I’m lucid.
Some carry that we have been created at the 4th day, yet this isn't so. We weren't created. None folks have been. We have been all one with Michael, who used to be as God, and whom a few name Sabbathiel. We had no longer wings then. Nor had we our bodies. We easily were.
Dad says God created Texans simply because he wanted those that beloved Texas to fill it up with. i've got no concept what he’s speaking approximately. What’s there to not like? There’s no greater position in the world. There’s no finish to Texas. the remainder of the area, and that incorporates Africa—which can be a wasteland as enormous as an ocean known as the Sahara Desert—could almost about slot in our again backyard, the place
we have plenty of ants.
Some days my grizzly position is crawling with them—with ants, now not Texans—and then I start to itch and that i pour gas on them and strike a fit to them and spot them scurry and fry and flee and depart, them all, aside from the crispy ones which lie the wrong way up and twitch for it slow with their little charred and wispy legs sooner than they cease twitching and die and odor undesirable like anything Mother’s left too lengthy within the oven, while she begins swearing and pop starts off swearing too for now it’ll be it slow prior to dinner’s prepared, she’s obtained to consider anything else she says, and why does she need to do every thing, besides, whereas she slips on these substantial eco-friendly and yellow and red the following and there oven mitts and pulls that burnt and smoking and stinky factor out of the oven and tosses it into the rubbish with an immense fats thud and one other swear be aware or and a few mutter mutter which I don’t quite make out besides it, the place it nonetheless smells of smoke and hearth, even though it doesn’t scent of gas, like lifeless ants do, whereas Dad returns to pretending to learn the paper.
The smartest thing in all of Texas is Bethe. That’s what i feel. a minimum of while i'm lucid, like i'm lucid now. For then i will learn and imagine and say and dream and write issues down, issues I don’t even comprehend while the ants re-invade my frightening position and i've to fetch extra gasoline.
I burned down a device shed once.
By the top of the 4th day a few of us had became stars.
There are those that converse of this. Isaiah, for one, for he gave the Fallen Angel a reputation, he referred to as him the Morning famous person. elsewhere he calls him the Defiant big name, the insurgent Angel. And during this he's correct, after all, even though he won't understand the place or how or why: for to be an angel, you want to have fallen: defiant, rebellious. I may still know.
Angels have constantly been more suitable to guy, yet no longer continually not so good as divinity.
We have been all aspatial at the start, neither occupying area nor being enclosed through it nor containing it. We have been nowhere and all over, surrounded via not anything, suffusing every little thing, all million people. We have been God’s engine of war.
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Ants and Angels